“I, Fa-rex, president of Federation Mining Co, bring the settling of planet E4-T44 to the attention of the Intergalactic Colonization Committee.” The three committee members, Fa-ree, Fa-roo, and Fa-raa, sat still as Fa-rex continued to deliver his information. “E4-T44 is an oxygen-based planet with an abundance of liquid water, an ample supply of biodiversity, and is rich in natural resources. It is the ideal location for a harvest colony on the Federation’s southern border. With the committee’s approval, our in-orbit drones can begin preparations for full-scale colonization. We can be up and running within one of E4-T44’s orbital rotations.”
Fa-ree, the Chairman of the committee looked from the data-slate Fa-rex had provided. “And this is at the request of a mining company?”
“Yes, Chairman. We were undergoing extensive asteroid mining on the system’s outer belt when we uncovered the planet’s existence. I believe that E4-T44 will benefit not just our mineral extraction, but also provide a stable and healthy colony for the Federation.”
Fa-raa, the eldest of the committee spoke, her voice like that of cracking bone, “Why has this planet not been colonized already? The sector surrounding this system is dominated by a dozen smaller empires, many of which are hostile to our Federation. It is unusual for such a planet to be left untouched. If E4-T44 is as suitable for our needs as you say it is, then why isn’t it already claimed?”
The other committee members were quick to pick up on her concerns. “There have been previous attempts at colonization from three of the southern empires.” Councilman Fa-roo, the final councilmember, did not look away from the provided data. “But they seem to have given up.”
Fa-raa turned an eye stalk at him. “And why would that be?”
Fa-roo continued, “Your report, Fa-rex, indicates a large population of local fauna.” Behind him, images snapped from orbital cameras displayed E4-T44’s inhabitants.
Chairman Fa-ree nodded his bulbous head as if figuring out the key to some cosmic riddle. “Vermin. It seems E4-T44 suffers from quite a heavy infestation.” The images displayed masses of bipedal creatures with furry heads and pink bodies covered in colorful rags that crowded in congested concrete nests with crude metal machinery. “They have erected super-nests on each major continent and have infested E4-T44’s most desolate biomes and produce quite an excessive amount of waste, both manufactured and biological. Look at their oceans. It would take an extreme effort to filter out all of their filth.” Again, he nodded to himself.
“Their population is nearing the eight billion mark and growing.” Fa-roo said this as if reading an interesting fact off the back of a cereal box.
Fa-rex wiped the sweat from his eyestalks. “Yes, the local fauna poses some initial colonization difficulties, but we have the resources that the surrounding empires do not. With your aid, it would be a simple solution to remove the creatures, and afterward, decontamination would take less than half an orbit with the right allocation of material. As I said, we have drones ready to begin the necessary preparations.”
“You are the president of a mining company.” Fa-raa brought her multi-digited hands together. “Do you propose turning your drilling equipment on these creatures?” She asked this more of a joke but Fa-rex did not seem to notice.
“We will do whatever we can to aid the colonization comities efforts. This would be as good for my company as it would be for the entire Federation. Not only does Federation Mining provide 80% of the entire federation’s mineral resources we—”
Fa-ree held one of his four hands out to silence Fa-rex. “This meeting has not gathered to justify the importance of your company, Fa-rex. And you will not be using government issued mining drones to exterminate vermin. We understand your concerns, but you must understand the logistical difficulty of undertaking such a heavy investment for a planet that—to be blunt—should be condemned. Even if E4-T44 had once been a prime colonization spot, its galactic positioning and its infestation make this a difficult proposition. Sometimes it is best to leave vermin nests like these alone. This would not be the first time we have unfortunately had to pass up on seemingly ideal worlds. Leave it for one of the fledgling empires to figure out. At best, we can hope that in a millennium or two we will have a possible trade endeavor with whoever is unfortunate enough to actually settle this place.”
“Councilmembers. I humbly beg for your consideration.”
“We fund colonization efforts, not extermination,” Fa-raa snapped. “This is not the department of pest control. Removing the local vermin from this planet would cost far too much effort and time. These creatures have already touched their own moon. They will not simply vanish during our process. We pride ourselves in cost-effective and timely colonization and this would neither. Add in the danger of setting up a vulnerable colony in a volatile sector, and I do not see any more reason to consider this request. I vote to deny this offer and turn the decision to my two other councilmembers who should feel the same. We would have better luck searching for a planet with a lower indigenous fauna population.”
Faa-rex held firm. “We already have a fleet on the system’s edge. If you give us less than half an orbit, I can prove that we can accomplish this with minimum effort.”
Fa-roo, who still kept himself buried in Fa-rex’s report itched his front nose. “It would be beneficial to have a stable outpost to the south. Ignoring the potential resource gain, having more sway on the southern empires could provide worthwhile.” He did not see the death stare that Fa-raa gave him. “I vote we give him a chance. Let’s say a certification with a two-cycle expiration date. Fa-ree, Fa-raa?”
“I have already stated my opinion. I will not endorse such a waste of resources on a planet overrun by fleshy bipeds.”
This left the decision to the Chairman who looked between both of his councilmembers with his eyestalks.
“Please, Chairman.” Fa-rex bowed.
Several more images of E4-T44 snapped by as Fa-roo continued delving through the information. Some displayed acts of crude warfare, others destroyed and burnt forests, and a few showed detailed image of towering structures crammed with filth. Fa-ree examined these images for a long moment, the silence filled by Fa-roo’s nails tapping on the data-slate.
The Chairman lowered his head. “Fa-rex, we appreciate your interest in expanding the federation’s border and commend your effort in wishing to assist in the colonization process, but at this time we as a council do not feel it is our path. I am declining your request for certification to colonize planet E4-T44. You may return in four orbits to reapproach this issue if you deem it necessary. We thank you for your time and ask you to leave.”
Fa-rex stood with his four fists balled as the projection room went black around him. He stood there for another ten minutes, reviewing the information he had compiled for his request. Another rejection. His fourth in total, the other three from different commissions across the Federation.
Another minute passed and the room flicked back to life, displaying yet another desk with another host of committee members.
Fa-rex cleared his frilled throat. “Good day. I Fa-Rex address the Board of Tourism and Space Travel with the interest of planet, E4-T44. I believe it would make a great location for the Federation’s next tourism hotspot.”




